Oct 15, 2011

What if?

What if i die? Will someone miss me? Well yeah, i'm pretty sure my friends would. Perhaps, it's only them who see my worth. You know what, everytime something pops up my mind related to appreciation, it's making me tear up. I don't know. I feel like a worthless shit. I'm thankful i have my friends. Bestfriends. They are my shoulders to cry on. They never fail to turn my frown upside down. Well, you know what i mean. But seriously. My friends are like.. my life!! I don't know what to do without them. I consider them my family, the fact that they are only the ones who could understand me. Yes, i'm always misunderstood, but when i'm with them, i feel so good. I feel comfortable.

I overthink things. My mind's full of crap i cannot understand. I once thought of what will happen if i die now. Will people cry? Will people miss me? Things like those. You know, this is the hard thing about keeping problems inside yourself. Well, i don't even know what my problems are. It just bugs me all the time. Like, every single time. I don't know what to do. I'm lost and probably confused.

It's hard crying yourself to sleep with no one else to lean on to. You might think i'm that emotional, but hey. This is me. I'm a cry baby they say. Well, who cares. If that's the only way that i would feel better, then so be it. You shall not judge a person unless you've felt their pain. People think i'm happy, but deep inside, i'm really not. I can manage to make you happy even when my heart's shattered to pieces.

I just wanna let this out. Please, just please. If you would be able to read this, just shut the fck up and mind your own business. I'm just a normal teenage girl who seeks for happiness because i want it so freaking bad.

1 comment:

  1. :( This really broke my heart. You might think it strange, but I guess I know that feeling of pain. Thanks heaven for your friends and do remember that you can talk to me, anytime, anywhere, whenever, whatever! Hehe. I'm just a Facebook or Skype away. ;)


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