Jun 25, 2011

This is real, this is me

People used to see me as a a chirpy person. But really, i'm not. I only choose what to show, but sometimes, i can't help but express what i feel especially to my friends. Trusted friends. I sometimes cry in front of everybody. I'm fragile. I get hurt easily. I take things too seriously. And that's what i hate about being me, but what can i do? No matter how much i try to be a tough person, no matter how much i force myself not to get hurt, i really can't. I want people to have a good impression of me. I want them to understand. But the fact that i can't please everybody, sucks.

Yes, i got lots of guy friends but that doesn't make me a flirt. I got more bros than hoes. They understand and appreciate me more. But people, narrow-minded people to be exact, are just so... ugh. They think i'm flirt and all. Seriously? They even think every guy that i'm with is my boyfriend. Hello?? Being friendly is waaaay different from being flirt. You can't really please everybody, especially when all they observe is your flaws.

That's why i prefer staying alone and having friends on the internet, rather that dealing with people who judge you for what you really are. Compliments are my weakness, either good or bad. So, if you're trying to bring me down, that only means i'm already far ahead from you. ;)

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”

I'm trying to be a better person. A person that everybody's proud of.

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